Historical Shame and Priorities

 It's me again, filthy American come to spew my opinions on the world where many countries are already far more progressive than my own. But here goes anyway. Today we will talk about a period in time, a horrid one. Marginalized groups were shunned openly by members of the ruling and upper class. Propaganda was everywhere, encouraging everyone to forgo critical thinking in favour of what the elite deemed important. Books with anything but the 'correct' ideology were dealt with accordingly. Independent thought was rebuked, considered conspiratorial, evil, and made the enemy of all. 

Hitler was on the rise, no wait that's the wrong one. He was a while ago. The period I'm talking about is the present. While the US managed to squeak by without losing the entirety of our government to fascism, we came super close. We still have not jailed those in positions of power who did everything they could to overthrow the fair election. And while books are not being burned right now... wait let me check to be sure. OK so far, no, but people are arguing for it and places are debating laws about it, so it's on the edge of becoming an unfortunate reality again. But even despite the lack of burning, books are being banned left and right from schools, books with nothing bad but the mention of factual history.

 

One such fight involves the book When Wilma Rudolph Played Basketball, about an Olympic gold medalist. The story involves a description of the character's childhood in segregation. Since factual history is now an issue, this inspiring book has come under review and might end up being banned. This is not a new occurrence, but I wanted to talk about this because of the wording used in the complaint. The woman arguing for this book to be banned was upset because the topic of segregation might make white students uncomfortable and make them feel "white shamed". 

At first, hearing this I felt just the general feeling of welling anger and frustration, but then my scope narrowed. I thought about the poor white children feeling discomfort (no sarcasm detected in that, nope definitely none...). But for a brief moment, as a parent, I thought about what my kids might feel. They didn't do the horrific stuff from history. So how would they respond? How would they feel about it? I did this as a thought exercise, I like to explore multiple sides of complexity by imagining other reactions and intentions. Ultimately I couldn't complete the thought exercise. I couldn't get to imagining my kids' thoughts on whether they felt shame or not. 

I was stuck on a different thought. Assuming my kids felt shame from their ancestors, assuming that was even an issue, was that shame more damaging to my kids than the 2 and a half centuries of slavery followed by more decades of segregation and dehumanizing behaviour all the way up to current and continued racism, hidden and blatant?! The anger I feel about this woman's statement is not simply her desire to erase the nasty part of history. Rather it is the presumption that her kids know that history and possibly feeling the slightest of guilt is somehow more important than the continued feeling of shame of existing by the children this story is about. 

The truth is we shouldn't feel shame for something we didn't do. I never owned a slave or stood by while others did. I don't feel personal shame on myself for that. I do however bear responsibility for moving forward now from that racism. Guilt can be good sometimes, it helps us reflect on ourselves and improve. But blaming myself for what I didn't do isn't productive. That doesn't excuse me from having empathy for the plight of others. I didn't run a human trafficking ring, but I feel empathy for those who went through one. And supporting those hurt is my deed, not just that I didn't do something bad, but that I did something good. I will not shame my children for what someone else did hundreds of years ago. But I will encourage them to do better. To this lady, I propose a counter-argument. 

If you feel more concerned that your children suffer a modicum of empathy than you feel for the millions of people hurt by centuries of abuse and neglect, maybe you should feel some shame. Priorities matter, and your children aren't at any risk just for being born with the skin tone they are. If they feel a bit of empathy and even shame for the deplorable way people before them have acted, they will learn from it and move forward and be better people. The ones to prioritize are the children whose history and pain you are trying to erase for your selfish fears. They will feel more than shame. They will statistically be poorer, hungrier, more likely to be hurt by violent crime. And the SHAME they feel for just existing as they are is far more than the possible bit of "white-shame" your poor children might feel for having a mother who thinks acting this way is acceptable. 

If you prioritize your own comfort over dealing with centuries of oppression and abuse, then you ARE racist. If you cannot hold enough empathy to even pretend slaves had it worse, then you ARE racist. If you can't be bothered to teach your children the FACTS of history and show them by example how to be better, then you ARE NOT better, and you ARE the one continuing the harm to these minorities. We can make room for our families' priorities first without comparing ourselves to slaves, without pushing minorities into the background. We can care for our kids, teach them empathy, and teach them to be better. We MUST teach them to be better.

With love and insanity equally,

J.M.